It has been nearly 2 weeks since Wallis and I started a rather important journey together…homeschool Kindergarten! Before Covid I had thought about homeschooling, but wasn’t sure I was brave enough to take it on. The idea of sending Wallis off to school everyday crushed me though, and I wasn’t ready to hand her over to what felt like a big building of strangers…and that’s coming from me who grew up with both my parents being teachers, ha!
I know that for some people sending their kids to school is a must, for others it is a choice, but once Covid hit, I knew this was something I needed to do for my own peace of mind. Until there is a vaccine for kids under 12, I don’t know how to risk it, and I feel so sorry for those families that have no choice.
I am not currently working, which has been financially straining the last 2 years, but I had hoped to find another remote job. When I started looking I soon realized I would have to make a choice between keeping Wallis home to school her or accepting a job, I choose Wallis. It is unfortunate that most often moms have to make these kind of choices, but in the US, this is how it goes. There is zero support for working women and especially for working moms.
So I found a curriculum I felt fitted my approach to education and here we are. Wallis was so excited about starting Kindergarten (even knowing I was going to be her teacher, ha) that she had a running countdown the week prior.
The first day we were both a ball of nerves, but I soon realized how natural it felt to teach her. It was similar to that moment when she was first placed on my chest after giving birth to her, and I realized how natural it felt to hold her, as if I had always held her. Even though I have spent every single day of Wallis’ life at home with her, even when I was working, I was home with Wallis (and now Loris) I still didn’t expect that same feeling to wash over me, but I am so grateful it has.
I like that she can feel safe to be herself with me. That she can share all those emotions she has and not worry about what others kids will say or how another teacher might react to her. I like that she is not competing with other kids for acknowledgment and for now, her beautiful sensitivity is met with gentleness, and clarity.
When she’s having a hard time sitting still, we get up and wiggle it out. We race down the hall or she has me count to time how fast she can get back.
Not every moment is perfect and I totally have my moments of self doubt and worry. I also feel so so exhausted by this new addition to my already full never-ending parenting life, but I also feel immense gratitude.
To make it work we start the day early and I cover the harder subjects that need more focus. Andrew stays with Loris while I do this until he has to start work, and then Loris joins us for the easier subjects. So far that has been working smoothly, and I have no idea if we will do this moving forward into other years, but for now, I am really glad I accepted the challenge of it all and gave Wallis and I a chance to have this time together. I will never regret extra time with her, even if my feet ache all the time and I tried to put Loris’ bib on Wallis at dinner because my mind needs a nap! 😉