A whole year with Loris, how did this happen? When I look back at the end of 2019 and all that we were dealing with….selling our home, moving twice, my parents separating, our dog needing lots of unexpected/expensive surgeries, me losing my job…and then, here comes Loris! She arrived during the most challenging time of our lives, and that’s not even including CORONAVIRUS which appeared only a few months later.
And not only did she arrive, but SHE ARRIVED. She burst into our lives with all kinds of complications. She terrified us, exhausted us, and made us so so so so happy. How could there be us now, without Loris? Impossible!
I don’t like to look back at the day Loris was born, because it was a truly terrible experience. I can feel a panic attack coming if I think about it…but then, she was here and that night was pushed aside, because I could look at her, smell her, and thank God that she made it, and that I made it.
However, I remembered something that I had forgotten. It was day two at the hospital and early morning. I was softly singing to Loris, and she was looking at me as if I carried the entire universe in my eyes. One of the nurses came in, surprising me, but she immediately paused and said, “Oh my god, look at how she is looking at you. She is so bright, I have never seen a baby so new so bright and the way she is looking at you!” She just couldn’t get over it, but it made me feel magical. I looked down at Loris and felt powerful, capable, and that I was meant for her, and she was meant for me.
I wish I could say Loris’ first year was a dream, I wish I could say that thing some parents say, “she’s such an easy baby!” Mind you, I have never said that about either of my kids. I wish I could say that leaving this year is hard for me, that I am going to miss it…because of course, looking back at pictures and videos makes my heart hurt at how the time has passed, because she was so small and there were these beautiful beautiful moments…but overall, it was an absolute daily struggle. The breastfeeding issues, the hours on end of scream crying, the severe allergy diagnosis, the non-stop soak my entire house spit-up, and the poor sleeping nearly scared my guardian angel away, it was so insane!
Our experience is the one you bring to terrify the teenage girls thinking it will be cute to be a young mom. Our experience is the one you stare at the calendar willing it to move, please just move forward, let this baby GROW! Our experience took our family turned it upside down, and dropped it on its head, and my word, I can’t believe we made it, we all made it. Even Wallis who had to endure one hell of a change, survived it, and has blossomed into the kindest most loving sister despite it all. The meanest thing she’s ever said about Loris was calling her, “the spit-up queen” I mean…what? I’ve said worse to a pastor.
But we are here, and things have started to improve immensely. There hasn’t been any spit-up for weeks, we have an actual dairy allergy diagnosis, so Loris will be vegan until further notice, and she has even started to sleep better (and a few times through the night!)
Loris is walking, talking, laughing, still occasionally screaming, and handing out hugs like she’s got a presidential race to win. She is smart, incredibly curious, and sometimes a bit ruthless. I witnessed her pinch Andrew the other day and well…we have some work to do, ha! Wallis kept her distance from our dogs, until she was older, but Loris tries to hug them, sleep on there beds, and is determined to stick her finger in their bottom holes (I know sorry, TMI, she’s a weirdo).
She’s a mama’s girl but often stuck with Dad, as I am doing something for Wallis (which is always urgent according to Wallis). Loris is WAY more curious about our phones and computers than Wallis ever was (or even is now) and so we’ll have to work a bit harder there to make them not such a thing. She loves to pick out Wallis’ pajamas and actually looks Wallis over once as if determining her aura before making the choice. Loris loves when we sing our family lullaby to her and we all kiss her goodnight. She lays there calmly awaiting those kisses as if to say, “yes, I will receive your kisses now” and then Wallis will say, “good night little weenie, sweet dreams and remember, they’re just dreams.”
She loves to sign “all done” and uses it often. At her 12 month checkup she kept signing to the doctor that she was “all done.” Even while talking to Grandma on FaceTime she signed it too, ha! It makes us laugh to see that chubby wee hand flipping back and forth.
She walks with the most determined little stride and waves her arms as if swatting us away to just let her be, and if she feels we are being too helicoptering, she will start running, ha! She pushes doors open like a Swat team, and has no problem shoving Wallis’ face away from hers (Wallis does have some boundary issues, ha!). Loris appears very friendly from a distance, but still has serious stranger danger, and will climb us like a koala if anyone gets too close.
She hates riding in the car, and we hate riding with her. The last car ride, once we got back home, Wallis jumped out of the car kissed our house and said, “I’m never leaving again!” Ha!
She loves butternut squash with carrots and applesauce. She loves almond butter and even her vegan yogurt…but she is not a fan of egg salad. Such a bummer as we love egg salad in this home. We’ll get her there, ha!
She really is her own person, and just like with Wallis, it blows us over every single day.
As Loris’ birthday was approaching Wallis was so excited and kept calling it “our birthday” and then correcting herself saying, “oops, I mean Loris’ birthday” and when I thought about it I said, “you know what Wallis, it really does feel like our birthday doesn’t it, because we all did this, and we’ll all be celebrating making it to 12 months!” And so we did!
Happy 1 year lady Loris, we are so grateful you choose us!