April 18, (40 Months)

So I haven’t written here since December…that wasn’t planned but with having to sell our dream home and move in with my parents while we find a new home, there was just too much sadness and happenings to keep up.

We are here now though, and somewhat adjusted. Wallis has had a really hard time with the move. She wakes up often throughout the night with little nightmares. When we first moved in she actually had a night terror, which terrified me, but since then it has been more nightmares. She was very stressed by leaving, and told us daily that she wanted to go back home, even though she loves being around her grandparents, she just wanted to be home. For four straight weeks she was in a terrible mood, very emotional and feelings were all over the place, it was stressful for us but we stayed calm and let them come, we knew why and wanted her to feel like it was okay to be all of those feelings, because moving from a place you love is the biggest change she’s ever experienced.

It broke our hearts and it still does, because she brings it up often. Even when we took her to show her where we will be building a house, she said, “I love it, but can we move my house here?” Who can blame her, I feel the same way. I am not excited about our next chapter at all, but just going through the motions of it, and Wallis is too.

She has become difficult to put to sleep since moving in with my parents too. We have stuck with her routine, but she has found a way to ssstttreeeetttccchhh every last minute out before nap and bedtime. I find myself dreading bedtime the most, all the little steps before she finally goes to sleep are a bit much after a long day, but she is 3, and since her testing is pretty limited, we are doing our best to be patient and adjust.

I would say that overall, this situation is not the best but we are all making do the best we can and though July seems FOREVER away right now, we’ll get there and soon we’ll be living in a home again and mostly back to how things were.

So far 3 has not been as bad as I thought it was going to be (or as I was warned it would be) but it has been the hardest thus far, for sure. Lots of emotions and independence that isn’t really sure of it’s independence ect. Wallis is confident and headstrong, but she does not like “misbehaving” I guess as it would be described, and typically ends up crying and asking for a hug when she has. She is not naturally defiant but does behave that way at least once or twice a day, and because we have worked to allow these moments to happen, she works through them quickly, but I still ache for her during them, because I know she can’t help it, she’s just so little and everything feels so big.

An example of this would be the other day she was eating her cereal really fast and I said, “Wallis, I think you need to slow down a bit, you are eating really fast” and that really annoyed her so she started chewing wildly at me (which I had to keep myself from laughing, sometimes it’s just so dang ridiculous) I didn’t react and soon she was burying her head in her dad’s arm with tears filling her eyes because well, it was never about the cereal was it. Those moments always make me feel bad, it’s hard watching someone you love so much be so conflicted, but you know they have to mostly sort it themselves, and all you can do is be there for the hug after.

Even though this was months ago, I have to say how proud I am of her and her potty learning. Even though she had been using a potty to pee in for over 6 months we started year 3 and she was still using a pull-up to poop while staring out a window – she refused to poop in the potty — but a few weeks in and she was on the big potty to poop and never looked back. All that is left is overnight and she’ll be done with pull-ups for good!

I am so glad we never pushed, used charts, tricks or treats or did anything but allowed her to make those decisions when she was ready. Despite one bad week, we’ve had the easiest potty learning experience ever and I am grateful for that. And I don’t say that in a bragging way (odd thing to brag about) but because you receive so much outside pressure from everyone else telling you “how to train your child to use the potty” that I am glad we ignored all of them and just let Wallis do what she was born to do naturally in her own time. That’s my kind of parenting, easy peasy as Wallis would say, ha!

Wallis continues to make us laugh and bring so much joy! She wants to play all the time and never seems to run out of energy. She loves doing puzzles and we do them over and over again. Her love of Puffins remains strong and she’s loving reading to us from her books now, and that is truly magical, I know that she’s really memorized it, but it is still just so cool to experience. When you go from them filling in the blank to reading sentences, it just blows you away and she’s so proud of herself. Her memory still remains the most incredible thing, the amount of information she has stored there is overwhelming to my tired old brain.

She likes her dad to call animals by their wrong names in books, so she can correct him and explain things about them to him. It makes me laugh to hear her say, “no daddy, this is a….and it loves to…” The other day we were watching one of her shows and the character mentioned what she was afraid of and I asked Wallis if she was afraid of anything and she said, “being outside all by myself and sharks” – ha! She is afraid of sharks now because I let her listen to that famous “baby shark” song one time.

She’s also gotten to a place where she knows when someone is not being thoughtful but she calls it “nice” – so the other day she was talking to her dad and she said, “dada I need to talk to you about something. You are not nice. Me nice. Mama nice but not you. You need to listen better and stop bumping into things.” It was a very serious talk, but she was so sweet doing it and of course it didn’t make Andrew feel the best, but he knew why she was saying it – he had stepped on her puzzle and ripped a piece earlier that day (and then accidentally threw her art project away) and though he had played with her, he was mostly checked out while doing so (it happens) and it hurt her feelings, so she let him know, and we all need to know when we can do better, right? I am so glad she felt safe enough to even share that with him – I couldn’t say that to my dad now, ha!

She was so excited about Easter this year. She even helped my mom decorate the table and said, “this is so lovely, me like this so much” and I just loved watching her excitement, that never gets old. Her excitement is like a second life for me, I see so much better with her around.

We painted our own wooden eggs and that one actually says “Wallis” on it, my dad painted it.
Nearly there.
It was a very sunny day so her eyes are closed in most of the pictures, but I really love this one! She was moving so fast and I’m just glad I got one like this despite it.
She found her basket.
The favorite Easter basket treasure were the crayons you can use in the bath!
She immediately asked for a bath – we obliged, ha!

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